Where is joy?

Issue #45. A short reply to a question from Nick Cave

Sometime in 2018 or 2019, I become aware of Nick Cave’s site called “The Red Hand Files.” Here he posts excerpts of letters from fans, in which fans ask him questions. Under each excerpt, Nick Cave answers a question.

“Ask me anything” is the vibe.

I immediately subscribed to this site, as I find Nick Cave’s writing insightful, wise, thoughtful and generous. In recent interviews he has described The Red Hand Files as something he began following the death of his son that started small and has become “something quite massive and central to what I do.”

“Essentially people write in and ask me questions about things - many of which I have absolutely no authority to answer at all, but do anyway. And I try to answer their letters in a cautious, compassionate way.” (speaking with Stephen Colbert on The Late Show, July 2024).

An early question-and-response by which I remember being struck, was posted in September 2019. Issue #58. The question was posed by Mel from Trenton, USA. “How do you forgive somebody whom you love very much but has done something truly terrible?” and Nick Cave answered (see the link).

Another in September 2019 touched me. Issue #61 featured this question from Liii, Krakow, Poland: “How long will I be alone?” which again, Nick Cave answered.

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The most recent issue of Red Hand Files was Issue #299. Simon from Leonard Stanley, UK, writes: “Nearly 300 Red Hand Files are in, and I feel you know us contributors a little. Admittedly, in a slightly abstract way, but I think you have a rough idea of what we are like.
So, to celebrate your 300th File, how about you ask us a question?
I realise this could be a bit of an everyone-answering-at-once shit-show kinda thing, but this Q&A relationship has worked out more than fine thus far, and I think we’re grown up enough to deal with it sensibly.
This is a one-time deal – one shot, one question. After this, we’ll be back asking the questions again forevermore.
So, go ahead and ask us anything. We’re ready. Our response may surprise you in the same way your responses have surprised us for 299 astonishing issues.”

SIMON, LEONARD STANLEY, UK

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Dear Simon,

Thank you for your encouraging words. This is an excellent idea! Here is my question, and I’ll print my favourite answer in the next issue, the 300th! Brilliant!

I have a full life. A privileged life. An unendangered life. But sometimes the simple joys escape me. Joy is not always a feeling that is freely bestowed upon us, often it is something we must actively seek. In a way, joy is a decision, an action, even a practised method of being. It is an earned thing brought into focus by what we have lost – at least, it can seem that way. My question is, where or how do you find your joy?

NICK, BRIGHTON/LONDON, UK

I very much look forward to your answers. It may take me a little while to read them all as I am about to begin tour rehearsals with The Bad Seeds – now, there is an unadulterated, full-blown joy right there! See you in a few weeks!

Love, Nick

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Yesterday, I submitted this answer to the Red Hand Files:

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Dear Nick,
Where or how do I find my joy?
Thanks for your question.

Joy is.

Joy is in.

Joy is magpie song from the rooftop.

Joy is in sleep.

Joy is skin-on-skin.

Joy is in eye-smiles.

Joy is new shoots on a river red gum.

Joy is in dusk.

Joy is making it up, making it all up; and noticing that we all make it up.

Joy is in crashing surf.

Joy is recognition.

Joy is in standing face-to-face with a black wallaby.

Joy is reading a novel in a warm and cosy room on a warm and cosy couch, while cold wind throws cold rain at the windows outside.

Joy is in the river.

Joy is giving and receiving pleasure.

Joy is in.

Joy is.

Many thanks, David, Melbourne.

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A related story is linked here - my open letter of thanks to Nick Cave for creating the song “Bright horses,” published on Substack 15 May 2024.