Three jack jumper ant bites + two nights in hospital + one Golden Plains music festival

Fair dinkum unbelievable scenes. Meredith & Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Mar 18, 2025

“He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Ahh, you’ll be staying here tonight.”

It’s the Tuesday after the Labour Day public holiday Monday in Melbourne, Australia: scene of the first collective action by organised workers to demand fair and safe working conditions, in 1856. Stonemasons building the University of Melbourne. From it was born the global struggle for the 8-hour day.

And here I am now in the emergency department of St Vincent’s public hospital, being assessed by a plastic surgeon.

“We’ll get you admitted, give you some IV antibiotics and see how it looks for possible surgery tomorrow.”

The long weekend had been a beauty. There had been much anticipation ahead of and during the music festival known as Golden Plains, held on a farm property near the town of Meredith. We’d camped on site with ~10,000 others. We were up early, down late. The music seemed to go on forever.

And it was terrific. I’d pick PJ Harvey, Grace Cummings and Fontaines D.C. as personal highlights. Kneecap were there. Heaps.

Around sunset on Sunday, a line of storms approached Meredith from the northwest. Lightning flashed behind the stage. Enough to delay PJ Harvey’s set by 30 minutes.

Back up the hill, in the dusty fields-cum-campground, under a stand of bluegums, the ants came out to play. Right next to our tent. These were big ants. I’d seen big ants before – huge bullants with bulbous body parts that looked prehistoric. But these were bigger.

“Oh fuck,” said Deaks. “I’m allergic to these guys.” That had been Saturday.

But now it is a bit after midnight on Sunday and we’re in the tent and Sarah feels a bite.

“Oww!”

We find a torch, find a lantern, and now find the floor of our tent crawling with an orc army of giant ants. These are jack jumper ants. I’d never heard of jack jumper ants. Jack jumpers were the basketball team from Tasmania, as far as I knew. But now, I wield a metal water bottle in one hand, torch in the other, and I’m fiercely engaged in a willing ground assault to win critical territory. This is the orc army at Helm’s Deep.

With each bite, Sarah flings the bodies of ants across the tent where they hit the opposite wall with a soft thud. One-by-enormous-one, we squash each invader until… until… until there are none left.

Music pounds on from the festival. Ant / orc bodies are swept to the edge of the tent. Somehow, I fall into a deep sleep.

Monday morning. The sun is up. We are awake and my left hand is certainly well awake and seems to have had a big night. A blood blister sits on the outer edge of my left hand, just below the little finger. My hand is swollen and red and hot. I cannot form a fist.

None of this seems good.

We head off to the music festival’s first aid tent.

The staff there look immediately for signs of an anaphylactic response. Nausea, tightness in the chest, breathing issues. “Yep, I’d say if you had jack jumper ants all through your tent, then these are two jack jumper bites, alright,” says the young, uniformed man with just enough of Occum’s razor to leave himself with an old man’s moustache. “Sit here. I’ll grab some ice and take some details.”

After being observed for a while, we’re off to pack up camp. I am told to be vigilant for signs of anaphylactic response. If I notice anything untoward, we are to head immediately to a hospital.

We pack up.

During the pack up I’m bitten again by yet another jack jumper. This one gets me on the right hand. Inner side of my tall finger. It is among the more painful bites I have ever known.

Still we pack up.

It’s an uneventful trip and a lovely day and night back at home, though my left hand is sore and swollen.

Tuesday morning. Blisters have appeared on my left hand where the two (older) wounds look pretty grim. I book a GP appointment for 3 pm.

The GP takes a look and says: “Well… I could prescribe antibiotics – but I reckon you could do with some intravenous anti biotics. Probably best to go to emergency.”

I catch the tram to St Vincent’s public hospital where I’m through triage ominously quickly and seated on a comfortable chair in the emergency department. Three of my fingers have the tight, swollen appearance of salami. The emergency doctor makes her assessment. “These two bites on your left hand have blistered but they should be OK. It’s this emerging reaction on the inside of your right hand I’m concerned about. There are tendons in there. I’ll get the Plastic Surgeon to take a look, but you will be here overnight.”

Overnight!

Lisa* the nurse arrives with a second-year uni student.
“Hi David, this is Stu*. He’s going to install a canular in your arm.”
“Great. Good on you Stu. How many have you done?”
“After this, I will have done three,” he says with a smile.
Lisa coaches him through the process. He does a fine job.

When the plastic surgeon arrives, she makes a quick assessment of my situation and agrees with everything I already heard.

“Let’s get some IV antibiotics into you and I’ll see you in the morning,” she says. “We’ll see how this bite responds before we decide on surgery.”

Surgery!

Tuesday night. So, I’m an inpatient and now I’m in the ward. This has all escalated very quickly.

Nurse Ella* shows me to my bed.

“So, what’s the story? Jack jumper ants?”
“Yeah. Unbelievable.”
“Where were you?”
“Golden Plains, Meredith.”
“Jeeez I knew it. I read your file and I KNEW it. I was bitten there one year. Most painful moment of my life!”

I’m fed, I shower, I wear a hospital gown and watch a little TV. And I rest with each arm in a vertical sling – an arrangement that seems to have been inspired by Monty Python.

Things I one thought unbelievable, in my life, have all taken pla-aa-aa-ce.

I share the room with three other souls, one old, two young, each facing their own private turmoil. Public hospital ward as the great equaliser.

Wednesday morning. After a very interrupted night, I’m awake early. The plastic surgeon’s rounds have her visiting at 7:00 am, with a gaggle of supporters. She takes a look and says: “Let’s de-roof these two blisters on the left hand. Take swabs and send them for testing.” Then to me she says: “We’ll see what the swab results say. I think you won’t need surgery but we’ll see tomorrow.”

Tomorrow!

When visiting hours begin at 11 am, Sarah appears with coffee and treats. We chat and read and rest and chat and read and rest and chat all day. My parents arrive around 6 pm. I’m now a man in a hospital who is visited by people. Late in the evening Catherine brings Kyla. I feel lucky and I feel exhausted.

Like any night in a hospital ward, it is another interrupted night.

Thursday morning. Again, I’m awake early. Today I aim to quiz the plastic surgeon and to avoid surgery. When she appears with her minions, she examines the wounds. “These are looking great. We can get you home today. Keep taking antibiotics at home and we’ll see you at clinic next week.”

Home today!

No questions.
I am done.
Elated.

Late morning. Again I wear my own Tuesday clothes. I exit the elevator on the Ground Floor. I walk to a shop, where I order a coffee and a piece of celebratory lemon slice. I am free. Free and (pretty) healthy. Via my phone, I pay the only bill for these past two days – $43.40 for my out-patient medication.

It feels as though I have emerged from a bubble. I’ve lost two days. Somehow, it is Thursday. All that matters though, is the sun is high, the sky is blue and my wounds are healing.

At the base of a tree by the Carlton Gardens, I give thanks. Thanks to this beautiful day. And thanks to my family and friends, to my colleagues and to the mighty public health system of Australia. No thanks, though, to the venomous hostile jack jumper ant orc army of Meredith. Take care out there.

Three jack jumper ant bites + two nights in hospital + one Golden Plains music festival

Fair dinkum unbelievable scenes. Meredith & Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

Discussion about this post